Failure Not An Option...

"Failure not an option" is a position taken, in sports, by many. A commitment to finishing at all costs..."You will finish this race." For others, Jan Ullrich included, a different approach is taken. An approach that includes respectfully retiring from competition when the mind or body is unable or unwilling to function, an approach that finds quitting as a positive alternative to the detriment, to mind or body, associated with a kamikaze "finish at all costs" mindset.

My mind runs over this topic as I contemplate my 'cross race DNF last night. I knew the race wasn't going to good. I have been sick this whole week and had no energy or form of exercise. Walking up the stairs, going to the grocery store, and walking to class would leave me winded trying to settle my breathing down...the beauty of a chest cold.

There are certain activities that you can do with a chest cold, all involve very low intensity and duration. Cyclocross, an hour of redline, is not one of those activities. Within the first lap my legs screamed as they were already anaerobic thanks to the short supply of oxygen my lungs could inhale. My chest and lungs burned with incredible pain, a pain of a cardiovascular system that was not functioning as it should, a pain of a system that was being called upon to run full throttle and try and clear itself of toxins at the same time.

No system is equipped to handle such stress, I raced 3 more laps with excruciating chest pain. Why am I here? My reason has always been "have fun." This was a far off place from fun, as such I no longer held myself accountable to finishing the race. My main goal of having fun was not being met, a violation of contract in my mind. I discretely slipped off the course and retired from the race. "I am not having fun, I am done." I don't regret my decision at all, as I belong to the later group that sees quitting as a viable option when it is in your body's best interest. Macho-ism, ego, or whatever aside, sometimes your best alternative is "to shut 'er down."

Granted I agree there are things that simply a finish is an accomplishment in itself. Ironman, marathons, century rides etc. require you to be at your best to simply finish coherent and upright. Those really long and demanding races have something special about them, that is the reason I finished in Grand Coulee, finishing is more than most people will ever do.

When I race I race to get the best out of my body and mind. Usually my results are numbers based, such as overall time etc. Fore whatever reason, I have bad races and bad days. On those bad days when I find myself out of competition I quit...Physically I usually finish the race, but once my chances of contention have passed I mentally quit. I back down, knowing that there is always another day to race. I give in to the discomfort and "shut 'er down." Is there anything wrong with that?

I am sure many people find it disagreeable or even despicable. I race to do my best, not simply to finish. I can finish almost any event, a true test is to finish that event going as fast as possible. Sometimes things don't go my way, so what. I am still alive and able to race another day by saving my mind and body.

I respect those people that fight to the end simply to finish, that is a great attitude to have. A commitment to finish what you start is an admirable quality. In the end though, are they "winners" for never giving up?...Yes. Am I a "winner "for demanding the best out of my mind and body, never settling for less, and calling it a day when my body cannot produce what I demand?...Yes. We all have different perspectives about winning, losing, and quitting. Winning does not make you a "winner," nor does losing or quitting make you a "loser" or a "quitter." The only person that has the ability to judge your winning, losing and quitting is the person you look at everyday in the mirror, the person that accompanies you on every swim, ride, and run...yourself.