J. Clarkson Memorial: Part 1

*Pre Race Ride on "Janet Bike"

 All the races I do have a special place in my heart. This race, however, means the most out of all the races. The first time I did this race was in 2008, it was in the same year that I learned of the story behind the race. The race is organized as a cancer benefit by the parents of cancer victim, the late Janet Clarkson.

*Mr. and Mrs. Clarkson

In 2008 I won the race and was introduced to Janet’s parents, family, and friends. Over the past three years; 2008, 2009, and 2010 I have won the race and somehow became the poster boy for the race. I believe the underlying factor in me becoming the face of this race is not necessarily the fact that I have won three times in row. I think the main factor is that I embraced the cause, the history, and the spirit of the race. I respect the race, Janet’s family, and the town of people that graciously support the race.

*2010 Win

*2009 Win

*2008 Win

Over the years the Clarkson family has somewhat adopted me as an extended family member. As a result I want to do my best, respect the race, and honor their graciousness. Understandably, the expectations from the Clarksons and the race supporters for me to win built with each year.

In 2008 I had a great race. In 2009 I had a better race and beat my course record from 2008. In 2010 the story was different. I felt undertrained and very tired at the start line. As the race progressed I quickly found myself losing time to a very tenacious chase group and suffering greatly. In 2009 I won easily, in 2010 it took everything to gouge out the win, in itself paying tribute to the race by doing what I had to do to win.

In 2010 I won by a mere 9 seconds, I won’t say I was lucky to win, because I did whatever it took to do so. I would say I was lucky that things worked out like they did. For example, 9 seconds is gone in a blink and could easily have evaporated with a slower transition, a few steps of running off course, dropping a chain, or selection of incorrect tires. Again, I am thankful none of those things happened to me.

*Totally Annihilated After Winning in 2010

The day I won the 2010 race I promised that it wouldn’t happen like this next year. It was announced that 2011 would be the final year of the race due to health concerns of Janet’s parents. As if the race did not mean a lot to me, the fact that this would be the last year made the 2011 race mean the world to me. The worst thing I could think of was having someone else win the final race. I know if I were not to defend for four-in-a-row it would be extremely disappointing to Janet’s parents and the race supporters. In my opinion, it would be an unfitting end to such a great relationship and adventure.

My friend Jess told me that she respected how much honor I brought to Janet’s family and friends, and my family by my commitment to the race. I find it safe to say that upholding that for the final year weighed heavy on my mind the entire year leading up to the race. I thought about the 2011 race everyday leading up to it.

Throughout the year I may have physically been hundreds of miles from the race, but mentally I was right there everyday and every training session. There were times when I didn’t want to do things, but I did them anyway because I was going to do whatever it took.

I planned to do a couple things that would add to the 2011 race. For one, I planned to run a special bike color scheme for this race on the affectionately termed “Janet Bike.” In doing so I dismantled the bike, trued the wheels, repacked hubs, changed the cables and housing, bar tape, overhauled the bottom bracket, and cleaned every part. I even scrubbed the pedals and drivetrain with a toothbrush. By the end the bike was looking extremely awesome and working to absolute perfection. The second thing I planned to do was bring back the Hammer Kit that I set the course record in 2009. I was planning to wear the same visor, race number belt, jersey, and shorts because I had not worn that kit since I won in 2009, they had the luck in them.

Special Bike Setup:

*Special Race Haircut

*Shaved legs are worth 5-10 seconds, when chasing dreams every second counts

I am not ashamed to say that this race weighed very heavily on my mind and shoulders. About 5 months before the race I started to have dreams about it. Most of the dreams were not good ones. I had dreams that my bike fell apart, I ran off course, the race was cancelled, and even that I didn’t win. It was not uncommon for me to wake up sweating with sleep anxiety and sleep-tears in my eyes. One dream in particular I remember very vividly. In the race I had the lead until the run. At about mile 2 I was caught by a chaser and found myself running hip to hip with him. I remember feeling our hips bumping into one another as we ran stride for stride to the finish. I awoke in twisted sheets and blankets before I reached the finish.

I trained the last few months with this on my mind. I prepared for the worst, such as being caught on the bike or run and having to gut out a win. In training when I was running as hard as I could, I put myself in the race with my opponent bumping my hip as we ran stride for stride like the dream.

I remembered how cold the swim was in 2010 and how uncomfortable I felt in the water. In 2011 I knew it would be even colder and my advantage would be to embrace the cold water and be mentally prepared for it. As a way to ready myself, 2 months before the race I started sitting in the bathtub with the water on the coldest setting. As I sat submerged in the ice-cold water I was conditioning my mind and body for the cold swim.

The confidence that months of training, and doing the things that other people didn’t want to do, built a very firm position that I had done all that I could to be at my best for the 2011 race. I had the confidence of knowing that I have prepared for the worst, hoping that in doing so the best would happen. In the weeks and days leading up the race, the race began to weigh even heavier on my mind and shoulders. I won’t say I began to crack under the pressure, but I could definitely feel microscopic surface fractures develop as the race countdown became days, and then hours.  Had there been no pressure, I would have been more worried.  It takes a lot of pressure to make a diamond, my ability to handle the pressure adds to the experience. 

I think it is the "forever" that adds the pressure.  There were times that I would be cycling and start thinking about how much I wanted to win for the Clarksons and my family. More than once I would have to pull to the shoulder to let my eyes clear themselves of the welling tears.  The fact that I had one day, one shot, that everything had to be perfect, and I would have to live with that 90 minutes and that one day for, well, forever.  The fact that the end was near was very motivating and humbling at the same time.  If it were any other race I would man up and do the race next year if it didn't work out.  This race has no next year, whatever happens in 2011 is my last opportunity to honor the race and the Clarkson family.

Once I made it to the Tri Pad for last minute preparations I went into race-machine mode. The one advantage I had over everyone was the confidence of knowing that I would be physically and mentally ready to go to hell and back to win the final race. Half jokingly, I told myself that I am leaving the race in one of two ways. 1) After giving my best and winning for a 4th time, or 2) In a body bag :) (only kidding).  I am shooting for option 1.



Views from the Tri Pad:

*My partner while I worked on "Janet Bike"

The race is here, forever is now, it's time...