Dream Adventure: Part 1 of 3

When people ask, “What is it that you do?” I sometimes pause.  At its core, “what I do” is seek things that scare me, things that intimidate me, things that twist my stomach with nerves, things that seem impossible, and things that send people running from their fears.  I seek out these scary things then I systematically plan and chip away at seemingly insurmountable challenges.  

“What I do” in a nutshell, is take things that are incredibly challenging, I work through my self-doubt…and I totally smash it. 

It is for this reason that I chose to embark on the most recent adventure.

When I first started triathlon 10 years ago I wasn’t a swimmer, cyclist, or runner.  Every aspect of the sport was new to me, it gave every day a purpose, and the pressure to learn motivated me.  I remember my first races being so unbelievably hard, the training was hard, and learning as much as I could as fast as I could was hard.  I would watch videos, read books, and train, train, train.  I had that constant pressure and that constant internal monologue asking, “Can I actually do this?”  

So much has changed since then, some of which I have been reminded of after stepping away from triathlon.  My first race was life changing, my first ride on a road bike was life changing.  I remember fondly traveling with my parents to my first few races, eating macaroni and cheese with hotdogs at the hotel before the race (yes, back then I thought that was actually “food”).  

I remember every day having triathlon on my mind and trouble-shooting how I was going to get my non-swimmer, non-cyclist, non-runner body to the finish line.  It was incredibly nerve-wracking for months, but the satisfaction of working so hard to chip away at the insurmountable monster was one of the most satisfying things of my whole life when I finally reached that finish line.   I had worked so hard for so long, before I knew it I was a swimmer, cyclist, and runner…a triathlete….a dreamer….and a finisher of what I started.  I did something that seemed impossible on day 1.

Back when I started triathlon I saw an episode of MTV’s Made that featured an over-weight teen who wanted to change his life and be a triathlete.  It showcased his progress, training, struggles, and strife athletically and mentally. I recorded that episode on VHS and watched it probably 100 times.  The key part of any story is the difficulty and those moments that make us say, “I don’t know if I can do it.”  Success comes when we work past those broken-spirit “I can’t do this” moments. 

After so much triathlon success last year I had the desire to feel human-struggle, strife, and life-changing pressure again. 

One could ask why on earth would someone who just had his best tri season and won all those awards step away from triathlon right now?  

The fact is that I am a dreamer, no one or no “thing” will control what I do.  I wanted hard days, I wanted challenge, I wanted struggle, and I wanted life-changing success.  The thought of a bodybuilding show stirred that anxiety in me.  I wasn’t sure I could do it, but then that voice inside of me started saying, “Why not me? You’re a rockstar of challenges and this is what you do, so shut your mouth and DO IT.”  

A bodybuilding show is so much more than I thought it would be.  I figured you get on stage, flex your muscles, and call it day.  I was naively wrong.  When I committed to this adventure and signed up the tasks began to mount, I was overwhelmed I had so much to do that I never thought I would be ready or capable.  I had anxiety every day, I had so much to learn, and so much more I had no idea about.  

I knew that this was my challenge, and this is what I was supposed to do.  It was going to take everything I had, but if I could somehow conquer this seemingly impossible challenge it would be life changing and inspiring.

I was so overwhelmed at the start that the dream almost collapsed under its own weight.  The hard part was starting and seeing the challenge mount, and mount, and mount. It came to the point that I just reasoned that enough was enough, I was going to give 100 percent of my effort, and if it was enough then great, if not then I would walk away knowing I did my best and would accept whatever result came my way.

My journey began.